photo: A casual daily pic from my phone
I said “Hello” instead of “I missed you so much”.
I laughed instead of saying “I think you’re really cute.”
I blamed myself instead of saying “You are a huge distraction.”
I made up some silly-but-sounds-interesting-story instead of my true, boring real life story just to see and hear you laugh
I kept avoiding your eyes instead of looking right into them and say “I really like you, do you like me too?”
I listened to you very carefully instead of telling you how much I enjoy talking to you.
I stayed in silence instead of saying “I really want to know you better.”
I said “wow, that’s so nice. That’s a lovely story.” instead of saying “I really wish I was the one with you and share the moment with you.”
When you sang one of your songs, I listened to it quietly, took a quick glance at your face, it was so apparent you were enjoying yourself. I did not want it to stop, because I know that’s what you love, that makes you happy, that makes you smile.
I said “It was really good, can’t wait it to release!” instead of saying “You looked very happy. That made me happy too.”
I said “Good-bye” instead of “I don’t want to leave, I want to talk, can we talk more?”
Now I’m at home, alone, thinking about that precious 1 hour, missing you.
I did not say those words because I know they are going to take you away from me.
Those sentences were going to make the situation so awkward.
The talk, the jokes and most importantly your smile,
they are all going to disappear if I said what I really wanted to say.
I don’t want to risk our current relationship just for my own feelings about you.
But the thing is
I REALLY REALLY WANTED TO TELL YOU I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU.
Okay, cheesy time is over.
I hate my lap top,
I think I need to buy a new one.
One more thing to buy,
more money to save.
Yup, this is fun.